Lara's Blog Page
it's 21:15 (9.15pm) and I'm funaly home. I had a great time but I also missed my bed :P you said you don't often see sea so here are some pictures :) This is my adopted not adopted cat (she's just there in the camp. She's probably nobody's. but she always comes to our place and I just had to take a picture pof her ^_^) I just call her "Maca" aka Kitty and she actually reacts to it haha so everyone's probably calling her that.
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So as I've said before Mia ,Maya and some other friends we're on vacation in Croatia. Yesterday at about 11 in tehe evening they came back to Slovenia and went home. I'm at the sea side with my family. That's about 2 hours from where we live. Today Mia is coming to where we are with her mom. The point is.. When Mia wasent here I didn't feel like hanging out with anyone. And Eve if I kind of forced myself to go out I was quiet. But today when I know Mia will be with me I already told 2 other friends I can meet up with them. And am looking forward to it. They're my friends. Not my and Mias. But somehow I couldn't even meet up with my friends without Mia. Do you think that's wrong?
so first thing is: SKY'S ALIVEEE :3 :D I couldn't take her to the veterinarian yesterday because I had a doctor and it took me longer then I thought it will so when I was done the veterinarian was closed already. so I took her today and he said she's doing much better then she did last time. He said it's probably because I was there ( because I'm the owner). when I put her on the table she run to me and wanted to hide under my shirt. he said last time she just stood there and squeaked a little. then he asked how she's eating and I told him that less then usual but she does eat and he said she still has some time. and about the tumour he said he's seen bigger tumours and that as long as she's responding as she is she's fine :3 so I decided I need to do something about her being alone so much. I'm probably going to give her to Mia. She can take care of her when I'm at the hospital and sky is already used to her. she has a big room so sky's cage can fit in it (she has a very big cage. I'll take a picture of it and add some pictures later) + when I'm out of the hospital I'm almost always with Mia anyways so I'll just tell her to bring Sky along every time. I think this will be better then her being alone all the time.
2nd thing: I have to apologise for not being so active here lately. I already told you I was at the hospital and felt really bad but for past 2 days I've been better but I just didn't feel like talking to ANYONE. I kind of expected that would happen because all my closest friends are away. But like even if they texted or called I didn't feel like talking to even them. So I used an excuse they're in other state and phone bill is more expensive that way to end a conversation earlier. yesterday I went out with some friends but I was quiet almost all the time and was just thinking about an excuse to go home. But today I talked to Mia and I'm talking to you now so I guess I'm starting to be better. :) 3rd thing: I'm getting better at the guitar :3 Tomorrow I'm saying goodbye to my little sunshine Sky :( . she has 2 tumours and the veterinarian said she'd only be in pain if I didn't. I don't know for how long she's had that. I've been in the hospital and my mom was taking care of her but she didn't notice the tumours. when I did I took her to veterinarian but he said I need to take her to a different kind of veterinarian but before I could do that I had to go back to the hospital so my mom took her and he told her we will only be torturing her if I don't put her down. So I sadly decided it's time for her to go so tomorrow I'm taking her to the veterinarian again and he's going to put an injection in her little heart and she's gonna foll a sleep. I wish I could be taking better care of her. I've been terrible to her for past half a year. she was used to being a princess and then all pf a sudden I couldn't take care of her as I did. my mom said that the veterinarian said that he can see we've been taking good care of her and that she had a nice life because she's so nice and sociable with people. when he was checking her tumour he pressed on it and he was impressed she didn't bite him. she just squeaked out a little. I wish he was right. but she was well behaved because I thought her that when she was little. last half a year she spent almost all of her time in her cage.
I don't know how (if) I'll be able to post/write back for next few days (3 or 4 days) because I'm starting with chemotherapy today and I'll get some strong medication to help me get through it so I'll probably be really high and won't be able to think so even if I do write back it's going to be strange. But if you do have something to write about don't hold back. I will definetly read it and it will probably help me get my mind off of chemo for few secconsds :) and I'll do my best to write back.
I'm kind of afraid how it's gonna be when I get out of the hospital. My friends (mostly Mia) are usually the ones that get me up and going but they went to Croatia for 10 days so they wont be there when I get out. (I was supposed to go with them but couldnt because of chemo) I hope I will be able to get up without them. so yeah I had an amazing time yesterday ^_^ I thought we were just going to have a beer and go home (yes most of us are girls but we all like to drink beer.. well I did until I got sick). But yeah we were there for 5 hours and they all made it so special. Lisa (I've talked about her before) came home from sea side a day early so she was able to come to my birthday. and the present I was wandering about: it was amazing. (I use the word amazing too much don't I haha x) ) so they waited until it was 8pm because we count hours a little different. you guys go from 1-12 and ad pm or am but we jut go from 1-24 (at least officially :P) so when it was 8pm it was 20:00 (12+8=20.. well you probably got it :P) and it's my 20th birthday. so when it was 20:00 Mia's boyfriend distracted me by starting to congratulate me and others went to get the present and they got me 20 little gifts and wrapped every gift and placed it in a big box full of sawdust and I had to find them and open them in an order from 1-20. and they were like most amazing gifts haha so I got a collaring book for kids (when I was in a hospital last week I was bored and had a colouring book for adults) they got me a wallet.. I never have a wallet with me. I always just stick my cards and money in cellphone case. so they got me a wallet with a ..clip on..? so I can clip it on my pants or wherever and they got me some stuff for my new guitar. I got a guitar from my parents and aunt. I never played it but wanted to learn. and they got me 4 picks and a ''coupon'' for 5 hours of guitar lessons. our friend plays guitar really well and he said a while ago he can help me learn it if I really ever star playing it. so they made a coupon for it.and well stuff like that.
I invited them all at once so I did have a bit heard time because I didn't know where to be. they made 2 smaller ''groups'' but I expected that. so I was with one ''group'' for some time and then moved to the other one and again and again and well you got the point haha So as I have mentioned before my birthday is coming up but I really don't feel like celebrating. When I was 18 I had a party where I invited some of my friends but I invited them all at once and they ended up being in groups hating on each other. So last year I decided to keep them apart so I asked them out on different terms. it went a bit better but it didn't really feel like I'm celebrating at all. I just felt like we simply went out and from time to time I got a bit special attention because someone remembered we're ''celebrating a birthday''. but this year I'm turning 20 and I decided last year I was going to bring everyone together again but do it in a bigger place so they wouldn't have to ''hate'' on each other but could simply avoid people they don't like (when I was 18 we did it in Mia's house). But now I cant do it from many reasons. 1st I cant move around much and I wouldn't be able to prepare anything myself 2nd I wouldn't even have enough energy to actually be at the party for long probably and 3rd I'm broke and I don't want to put anything more on my parents since they're already struggling with money.
so yeah I just decided I'm gonna invite everyone for a coffee. to tell you the truth I really do wander what Mia and others will get me for birthday. they'll probably buy something together. I know they will get me something. I wouldn't mind if they didn't but I know they will so I wonder what it's gonna be. & don't get me wrong.. it's not about the present or how much they spent on it or anything like that.. I wonder if they're going to try and get me something I like or they're going to just buy the first thing that comes under their hands so they can be done with it. I don't know why but this seems really important to me. I wouldn't mind if they all together bought me one bag of candy for 50 cents .. the important thing would be if I like those candy or not. so yeah.. the title tells it pretty much all I'M GOING HOME!! finally ^_^ I'm so excited. I'm going to miss those guys (the nurses) they're all so nice. but I promised them I'll come say hi next week when I'm getting my splint removed. so yeah.. I just had to tell you that. I'm so happy right now. my mom made me feel a bit down because she didn't let Mia come along when they come and get me (in about an hour). but I'm still really really really happy because I'm going home :D
ow and btw I tagged you on something on facebook. Go check it out :) From some reason I can't post from my phone. I can write everything but when I post it everything I wrote deletes. My charger for computer died and my battery is already very low so I probably wont be posting anything until I get out of the hospital. but I can comment from my phone. I hope I get out on Friday. on Sunday it's my birthday. I don't want a party or anything but I really don't want to be in a hospital that day. Mentally I'm quite fine now. I can't eat normally because the food reminds me on times when I'm on Chemo therapy. the first day I got here I ate some lunch and was feeling sick because of it the whole day. first 2 days when I came I had.. some kind of attacks from time to time... I was afraid of being alone I think. The worst were mornings. I felt like I was never going to leave the hospital. and I couldn't move at all then. or well it's not that I couldn't but I wasn't allowed to (because of the operation). I think I'm afraid I wouldn't be able to take care of myself and I wouldn't have anyone to take care of me. that's not the case of course. there's always someone to ask me if I need anything. and I was in a room with a woman that was really motherly to me. even though I had nurses checking on me all the time she helped me a lot too. but she went home yesterday. And when visitors were allowed my mom and a lot of people came to see me (they still do come). I'm able to move now a bit more. I still can't get up on my own though but I feel much better. sometimes in the mornings I feel a bit down but I remember that soon my friends and family will come to visit me and I feel better. there's not much to do here and I couldn't really sleep until today because I couldn't even move on my side so I had to sleep on my back. but yeah.. things are getting better I can turn on my side from today. and I got some things that I can do for where I used to work. they need some pictures sorted out and well.. some things that I can do so I have something to do now and time will pass faster.
And about how the operation went.. it went better then I expected. I was told I wasn't going to be able to move or feel my right leg below my knee. they did move some nerves (that are not so important) from my left leg to my right one and said I can hope it will work and that it's going to show in about 2 years when the nerves grow together. but I can already feel some things. so that's awesome. (not move just feel. but it's more then I expected). I stood up 3 times with a doctor. I did it a few times on my own.. I wasn't supposed to but I didn't go anywhere. just stood up to wash my teeth and hands. so yeah.. I in few days I should be able to walk with crutches :) |