Lara's Blog Page
Ok so this is my first post on here and I really look forward seeing how this works. right now it took me about 10 minutes to find the ''new post'' button (I know. I'm a genius haha x) ) but it's actually fun figuring it out. So the first thing I want to get out of my system is something I've talked about before on diaryforteens.com but it's starting to bother me on a different way now. Back then I was having trouble with it because I had no friends with the same style. Now I do. and they're awesome. but how people look at me just because I dress in dark clothes makes me feel.. I'm not even sure how. but not fine that's for sure. I used to dress in bright clothes. but it just didn't feel right. it didn't feel me. I was depressed all the time. I don't think I was negative. I always saw ''the good in people''. In everyone except me. And I sure as hell wasn't even 5% as confident as I am now. (and let's count in that now I have cancer and that means no hair. anywhere. even my eyelashes and eyebrows fell out) I can't blame it all on clothes though. I had other problems too. but I know that if I'd wear something too bright in public I'd probably want to go hide in some corner and just cry. I just wish people would stop judging and would listen to what I have to say. 2 weeks ago a gilr.. about 5 years older then me asked me why I wear so dark clothes. And I said ''because my personality is too bright for bright clothes and it would all explode'' and her face was full of disapproval. but about two seconds later (when she actually thought about what I said) her expression totally changed and she was like ''ow.. I thought you were going to say -so it matches my soul- or something like that'' I literally wouldn't hurt a fly. I name almost every spider or any bug that crosses my path and almost adopt him. so no. I cant say my soul is a black hole. and I don't want to say that. or how people think I'm ''stuck in a phase'' well.. in that case.. just like Jeydon Wale said: ''then conceder me happily stuck''. as far as I know everyone is looking fot happiness. I'm happy in black. I like black. I like who I am if I wear black. they'll just have to accept it.
''Don't be afraid of the future.''
''change the path your life will follow''
''I have found so much beauty in the dark as I have found a lot of horror in the light''
Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever.