Lara's Blog Page
So as you know I decided I need to talk to Mia. But because I couldn't do it I wrote it down. We started to talk about it but didn't have time to finish. You also know that we've been having some problems with Maya. So the day after I talked to Mia she decided it's time to talk to Maya. It kind of went fine but it was also a disaster. Maya now get's what's wrong and she's (hopefully) gonna try to do something about it. But Mia on the other hand.. I don't think she understands what exactly is going on and I don't know how to explain it to her because she doesn't listen. So here's what happened. We were in a caffee. Mia, Maya, Nia and I. Mia started to talk to Maya about how she's behaving and Maya listened. But the way Mia talked was wrong. She was half shouting and her ton was aggressive. I told her to change her tone but she said she doesn't know how to and she continued ''attacking'' her. And whenever I wanted to add something Mia just cut me off because she knew what I started to talk about and she continued talking about it. And then she said why I don't say anything. When I told her why she didn't listen to me anymore. Maya was quiet the whole time and Mia was telling her to talk and say something but all she could say was that she sees what Mia's talking about and will try to change it. Maya smokes and when she went outside to lite a cigarette I went with her and that was the only time we actually talked. I could see she knows something's not right but she had no idea what to do. So we set her a few little goals for starters and I think she's serious about them and is actually planning to reach them. One of them is not to talk to Tiana so much. She was confused on how to do that so we made a plan that she first has to get Tiana down from her ''favourite people'' list on her phone (the list the phone makes on it's own based on who you talk to the most). And a few things like that. But the point is I was talking calmly and she was talking back. so we actually made some progress. But when we went back inside to where Nia ans Mia were Mia started with the same ton and everything again and Maya was quiet again. So when we went home I was alone with Mia for like 2 minutes and she asked again why didn't I say anything to Maya. I told her I did and that every time I tried she cut me off. this time she was actually listening and she said she didn't even know she was doing it. So I told her to watch her ton and she said she doesn't know how to. I tried to help her but she stopped listening to me again. I mean she heard me but she wasn't really listening. And I know her since she was born. She didn't always talk like that. It's just for past year. I know a lot has changed in that year. But this is not OK. So the next day (yesterday) Maya texted me that Tiana texted me if I have some time for a coffee and I said yes. I don't know what got in to Mia again. They had some work to do around the house and she wanted Maya to go and help. Maya was tired from school and she started looking for excuses. Mia knew they were excuses and she called me and said she's annoyed because Maya's looking for excuses and that she should just say she doesn't want to help. I totally understood Maya because by the way Mia's acting towards her.. well I'd be afraid to tell her no too probably. And I told Mia what Maya was saying is actually true. It was true. But it was also true that she didn't want to go help. And then Mia just told me to cancel my plans with Maya. I was kind of shocked so I was speechless for like 2 seconds and then I told her I wont do that. She then said to only sent her SMS to cancel and then half an hour later text her again that I can come. I was just like.. wait.. what... I told her no again but I was so shocked she'd tell me to do something like that. I told her to stop with that and leave me out of it. I need to talk to her again but I have a feeling like talking to her nicely wont help. I have to snap her out of that. whatever it is. In some ways she's acting so mature and in others... well that.
''Don't be afraid of the future.''
''change the path your life will follow''
''I have found so much beauty in the dark as I have found a lot of horror in the light''
Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever.