Lara's Blog Page
Yes. the awesome titles are back haha
I'm getting so tired of staying strong for others. As you know I'm not the most open kind of person. But whenever I do talk to people about how I feel and try asking for their help with my emotional state it never works anyway. At the end I'm always the one who has to ''stay strong'' for others. Logic of everyone around me is that ''staying strong'' for me means keeping secrets from me. But that only makes me more worried because I don't know what's happening. I can easily see when something's wrong with my friends or family and when I ask what's wrong they just say everything's ok because they think they're helping me by not making me worried. So if I don't want them to keep secrets from me they have to think everything's ok. And if I want everyone to think everything's ok I can't tell anyone how I actually feel. ok I explained that really really bad but I hope you get it. If you don't I'll try again just say it :3 So the point is.. Mia doesn't want to talk to Maya and Maya is trying not to talk too much to Tiana. Again I'm caught in the middle and acting like everything's fine. If I wouldn't be acting like everything's fine it'd all fall apart. Maya'd start talking to Tiana normally again. Tiana is just starting to understand what's going on. (*just so you know. Maya and tiana are still talking and everything. They're just not talking as much. It's so Tiana can move on.*) Mia and Maya'd start talking and Mia doesn't have her temper under control yet (she's trying though. that's why she's staying away from Maya for some time) so if they did start talking they'd start fighting again and Mia would get back to her bad temper.
I really want a tattoo. I have a lot of scars on both of my legs and I want to somehow connect them to the tattoos. On my right leg I have a bigger scar and I want to get that https://www.pinterest.com/pin/240661173813522030/ tattood in so it'd look like it's cutting my leg. I'll put in a picture of it. but it's not healed totally yet.
and on left leg I have more small ones and I dont know what I'll do there yet. but first I want to get that (the upper one) https://66.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lswpuyTIdh1qf1wmoo1_500.jpg tattood around my arm. I can just say it's because I never want to stop dreaming or forget my dreams. It's true but I doubt anyone will know what kind of dreams I'm talking about x) well.. you probably know x)
It's happening here too haha. you know how I was saying I'd probably hide under the bed if they'd be doing it here. Well.. it happened yesterday right in front of my block. A clown with a chainsaw scared a 10 year old boy . He didn't hurt him though. I told Tiana, Nia and Maya what happened and Tiana was like ''let's go hunt him down and beat the crap out of him'' knowing her she'd actually do it haha she knows karate and she's like really good at it. But I kind of doubt it's a good idea haha I have no idea what I'd do if I saw one but I don't want to know haha I usually have a knife in my purse but it's just because it comes in handy sometimes. If I'd panic enough I may actually use it on the clown. But I doubt that would happen. I'd probably freeze and then start to laugh or cry x) And when I told Mia about the clown she said ''don't worry. He's a psychopath so it's probably one of our friends'' haha she may actually be right x) some of our friends are crazy enough. But I really hope that they're smarten then that. To scare a 10 year old? He could actually hurt himself. like.. if he'd run home and jump in front of a car or something. how twisted do you have to be to find that fun?
''Don't be afraid of the future.''
''change the path your life will follow''
''I have found so much beauty in the dark as I have found a lot of horror in the light''
Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever.