Lara's Blog Page
Yupp.. my titles are getting better and better.
so.. I've been feeling kind of lonely for past few days. I know it's all my fault. but I don't feel like trying to change that. As you know I haven't been on my best turns with Maya, Mia's on vacation with her boyriend and I don't feel like going out with anyone else. Actually I doubt I'd want to go out with them either. I feel like I want to be alone but I feel lonely when I am alone. I just use the excuse that I still don't feel fine enough from chemo therapy and promice everyone that tries to contect me that I'll call them when I feel better. everything is getting on my nerves and I'm about to start crying or smash the computer (or both) because my computer broke down and I'm on my dad's old computer and nothing works as it should. Not even the keyboard so sorry if any letters are missing. I have to smash on every letter if I want it to work. And I think I finaly have to admit that I really really don't like Mia's boyriend.. well.. not that it's been a seecret ountil now but ountil now I just always told him that I think he's a nice guy with a different style of ''living'' then mine and that I don't mind him but he can't expect for us to exactly become best friends. But he's really starting to get on my nerves. At first I thought it was only because I was jelous because Mia was spending so much time with him or something. So I tried to be a ''good friend'' and not act on it. But I did try to figure out how I could make me like him more so we could hang out together. (now usually when Mia asked me to join them I said no. but I know it was heard on Mia because then she had to separate time between us - time that she doesen't have) but trying to figure that out made me like him even less. At the start I didn't like him only because of the way he was dealing with emotions. He's really oppen minded about it. I'm not used to it and I dont like it on the way he does it. He makes drama about EVERYTHING. And even though Mia always said she hates drama she seems to like it. So I left it alone. But now I've been noticing how everyone's energy changes when he walks in the room and how he tries to inluance everyone with his psychology games. and how he acts like a 5 year old when he's stubern or trying to get something (like a point or something). And just thinking about it makes me irritated so I'm gonna stop now :3
''Don't be afraid of the future.''
''change the path your life will follow''
''I have found so much beauty in the dark as I have found a lot of horror in the light''
Be strong now, because things will get better. It might be stormy now, but it can't rain forever.