Bri's Blog Page
So, I'm just going to get through what happened. Honestly, idek what I want to write but, I'll just see what slips out if I type without thinking much.
My dad and I went but my sister didn't because of homework. Honestly, I had lots of homework I needed to get done but, I promised Josh and didn't want to have him searching for me and think I bailed out on him. So, I didn't have someone to guide me thought what exactly to expect and etc. My dad showed me the room his group was in and then walked me back to the gym (yes, our church has a gym. It's weird.) It was like the gym at school but, not all this weird sports equipment and not as nice. There were hoops for basketball and this other game I didn't recognize. It had a big frame that separated to make squares that people would stand in and they were throwing around a ball. I didn't get to observe that much to understand the game. All teens were together and leaders too. All in the gym. The other half of the gym had a curtain and we'd go behind the curtain in Sunday School, or whatever. That's basically where Josh preached. Josh introduced me to a girl who was a year older than me named... I forgot. But she introduced me to a girl Cami, Kalie, Trinity, and Kalie (yes, they had the same names), and these other girls. There was also two girls, Savannah and Lily who we're annoying. I'll explain later. In our group was about 12 girls and 4 leaders. I think. One leader Theresa stuck with me. She was definitely older but, very sweet. She had long, very blonde hair, was wearing a bit of makeup, and pink jewelry she had made. She liked my necklace and asked if I made it. I told her I didn't and she said she made her jewelry so, she always pays attention to people's jewelry. She asked what I liked to do and all that. After Josh made an announcement about upcoming events, we prayed. This was fine but we had to hold hands and I'm sensitive to touch in certain situations. You know my little stress twitches? I tried my best not to do those and I didn't, thankfully. We then went upstairs to a fairly big room. We sat in a circle, some people got chairs, most just sat on the ground. I sat on the ground, Theresa sat in a chair. She said, every month, we bring cake to celebrate people's birthdays who are on that month. So, everyone had chocolate cake except for me who declined the offer. I have a weird fear or anxiety eating in front of people unless I have a friend eating with me. One leader, Amanda, held up a toilet paper roll and said for everyone to take off some toilet paper. However much we wanted. Of course, girls asked about if it was clean and Amanda said it was straight out of the package. People talked about remembering this game. They spoiled it saying, the game was where people would take an amount of toilet paper and had to say an interesting fact about themselves for every piece that they took. I took one piece and placed it away from me. We went in a circle and I said, "Uhm... I have two snakes and two bunnies..(?)" They asked the stereotypical dumb questions like if i kept the snakes around the bunnies and if the snakes would hurt the bunnies and etc. Cause you know, snakes are so horrifically terrible and dangerous. I listened to everyone but, put my head down so that my hair obscured my face a bit. I kept my hands folded and tried not twitching too much but did a few times. I observed the room too. It had all white walls except for the red wall I was facing. It was my favorite shade of red so, I liked it. There were posters and a whiteboard that we didn't use. One leader, I forgot her name, said a story and we all talked about it. Well, not me, of course. It was about change and feeling afraid. I was wearing makeup and kinda caked my foundation on because I knew I'd be nervous and turn very pink without foundation on. And a good amount of it. I did my usual hint of blush, contouring, and highlighting, though. I put some green and brown eyeshadow on. I did my eyebrows but also put some lines in the bald part of my eyebrow using liquid liner. Wasn't sure if I liked that look or not but, I wore it anyways. I still don't know if I like it or not. Then I did mascara but, went ahead and skipped lipstick since my eye makeup was strong. I have some close up pictures of my eye makeup. But anyways, they got onto girls wearing too much makeup and trying to be what they're not. But, what one girl described as a girl who always changed her makeup, it sounded like that girl was just having fun. Girls who insist on wearing makeup everyday and the makeup is always the same, those are the ones who most likely want to change things about them. I always have my eyebrows done but, other than that, I don't always wear makeup. But yeah, that was kind of annoying. Lily (church Lily, not my friend Lily), was annoying because she just loved herself so much. She always wanted the spotlight on her by interrupting people and then talked about how she was popular and adjusted in any school or social situation. She thought she was a funny person too. I just let her think that but in reality, she was obnoxious, not funny. It was annoying to listen to. Savannah, she was just an obnoxious person. Other girls seemed fine but, not like people I'd be good friends with. At the end, we crossed our arms and held hands as we prayed, I held hands with Theresa and Savannah. At the end, you're supposed to turn around so that your arms uncrossed and let go. I tried letting go right after we all said "Amen" bun Savannah squeezed my hand to tell me we weren't done. That's when we did the spinny thing and I went the wrong way and ruined it but, I was just happy not to be holding hands anymore. Then, I want down and sat where it was dark, but with dim lighting. No one was sitting there like me but, people passed through. My dad's class was still going so, that's why I waited there. I just wanted to be left alone. I remembered something that I'll talk about when my laptop battery isn't low... But only one person really acknowledged my presence in there. He was a boy who I think was in the Youth Group thing but, idk for fact. He looked my age though. He smiled at me on his way outside and I smiled back. We both did fake ones. He said Hi to my when he came back in and I said Hi back. He continued to walk to wherever his destination was. Then I heard Josh asking where I was but, I ignored it. One person found me and said my dad was looking for me. So, I ran over to him. Josh asked what I thought about it and I gave a kinda sarcastic smile that said, "I didn't like it but, I don't know how to say that nicely and honestly, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want to talk at all, really." He said, "Is that your nice way of saying you weren't a fan?" I nodded and he said, "Ok, you can just talk to your dad about it. See you Sunday?" I nodded but, if I were honest, I'd have shaken my head.
I told my mom and dad about it but was brief.
Also, with homework, I've stayed up the whole night and still have work. I'll be going to school late too... Life is being a bitch.
"Some days life is all about your dreams, hopes and visions for the future. But there are some days where life is just about putting one foot in front of the other. And that's okay."