I think I might as well give him a name... Aaron. Okay, Aaron is the same person who I've been talking about. The person who's figured family issues out... The person I've been scared to trust... Yeah, that's Aaron. So, I've noticed something about Aaron. We mainly text. So, we were texting tonight and at one point he was super tired and had to go to bed. I didn't mind, he actually has a good sleeping schedule unlike me, haha. But, he was apologizing a lot. I'll copy some of the texts -
Aaron - I need to go to bed soon because apparently I'm going to (event) in the morning
I promise though
I can stay up late late tomorrow
Me - Alrighty
Aaron - I'm just having a hard time staying awake, sorry.
Me - You can go to bed if you need.
Aaron - Are you sure?
I promise we can talk tomorrow.
Me - Dealio.
Aaron - Thank you :)
Me - Ok, noight
Aaron - Goodnoight! Have a great day tomorrow and sleep well! I'll talk to you tomorrow :) ^_^
(noight is just a joke. Whenever saying goodbye there's last goodbye and types of goodbyes. Noight is one of them. Plus he always says something similar to the last message, which I like.)
I found it a bit strange that he felt he needed to stay awake and practically had to have my permission. If it were me I would've just told him I was tired and would talk to him some other time. I wasn't acting strange at all. I was quite happy actually. He's done this a few times before but, I always blew it off. I was still on defence so, I didn't really pay attention to those things. I've lowered my guard and I finally noticed that.
No, I haven't talked to him about my abandonment issues. I think I will now but, we usually are very humorous with each other. It's rare we're actually completely serious and, I want to wait for the right time to talk about that. Maybe before he or I go to bed.
As I was saying though, he always seems a bit guilty when leaving. Half of me wonders if he's caught on to any abandonment issues but, I'd have to scroll through chats to see where he could've caught that. Or maybe he has them himself and is careful incase someone else has them too. Or maybe because he knows I've had mental/emotional struggles before, he wants to be careful not to hurt me. Either way, because of this, I've decided to trust him. I'm not sure why he is so apologetic about it, though. He even tells me not to apologize for certain things like, not answering messages right away. He just kind of reminds me of who I think I called Preston. He tells me not to apologize for things, and does some other things similar to what Preston did. The one thing he doesn't do that Preston did was, be as flirtatious. He actually isn't at all, which I like. I just don't want him to have disappearing in common with Preston and all the others.
"Some days life is all about your dreams, hopes and visions for the future. But there are some days where life is just about putting one foot in front of the other. And that's okay."